walking on a dream

When I was 4 and you 6 we didn’t need amazing clothes, us in our barbie pajamas sat infront of the tv watching the greastest store in the world, When I was 6 and you were 8 we didn’t need popularity or anybody else, us with our baby borns pushing them up the street in their prams. When I was 8 and you were 10 we didn’t need money to go out and have fun, us on my trampoline for hours shouting foods in our Scottish accents and pretending David beckham was our dad, When I was 10 and you were 12 we didn’t need boyfriends, us going out and playing with the fat kid josh up the road, When I was 12 and you were 14 we didn’t need to go far to have fun, us going to the common on our bikes and swinging on our swing which we signed with tipex. When I was 13 and you were 15 we didn’t play with dolls, we found ourselves heading off to Cardiff and spending hours in the changing rooms trying manky clothes on and speaking in welsh accents trying to find a way back to the station. When I was 14 and you were 16 we drifted apart because everything in the past we didn’t need was now our daily need everyday. Boyfriends, money and popularity came before out friendship an it’s such a shame because my childhood is just memorys that I have with you and I think I had the best childhood ever. But that’s all gone now and things are so broken they will never be fixed. But it’s nice to know when I look through photo albums from years ago, all we needed was eachother.

I can’t even begin to explain how much you make me smile and when we talk you make me laugh loads, and then last night you told me and when you said those things i actually got so many butterflies and i felt ontop of the world and i felt so sorry for you sat outside in the cold and you were so drunk you could barely speak and yet you still made me smile so much and you mean loadss to me.

I can’t believe you would touch that shit, everything you said about it and how we all used to laugh and say it was fucking pointless and then you went and did it and then tell me it’s nothing. Oh well I cbf anymore.

I never thought we, of all two people would end up as we are today at this very moment, apart fom the fact your probably asleep or just getting in and wasting your whole day being asleep no doubt. I knew you completely for the past 8 months, knew everything, what days you went to college, when you worked and why you hated it, your favourite music, who you hated and why, what you did every night out, I knew all about your past and your hopes for the future. I knew when your bike broke down and you had to walk like 6 miles to get it home, I knew eventually about the drugs and how I was so fucked off at you for doing it or even being near it, I remember the day I got that text saying you were in hospital, I was in superdrug and stupidly put lip plumping stuff on so I looked like a fish, then my phone beeped and i read it and I was so scared and so annoyed I couldn’t be with you, and when I did actually talk to you i just wanted to hug you so tight and tell you everything would be alright. You always seemed to be in trouble, and when you told me about what your ex did I wanted to smack her so much. I remember the time I was in my kitchen and I was really busy and it was all cosy and then out of the blue you just rang me and I answered and you were so happy and it made me so happy too. If I’m truthful you did make me happy for the past 8 months even though you were a knobhead at some points and at times i couldn’t deal with you. I found that picture the other day, the printscreen about me being an albino, and I didn’t cry and scream at the screen, I just laughed and remebered it and I didn’t feel sad. I had this photo of you on my laptop I took of you smiling when I told you I loved you. I wish in a way we were still like that. Your lucky you’ve found someone who makes you so happy. But I know your games and tbh I stopped wanting to play them a long time ago, happy birthday for tomorow. char x